Trust me
So, long story short, we are in Iceland for a week or so.
Depending on how life, the universe and everything turns out in the next…oh, week or so.
So here’s the first thing you need to know about Iceland. Based on my vast experience as a Trained Observer Of The Human Condition.
Oh, wait. The first thing you need to know about Iceland is that it took us two and a half hours to get through customs.
Listen, I’m not one to complain. But I’ve gotten in and out of Russia faster than that.
But I digress.
No, the first thing you need to know about Iceland is that it’s pretty much a death trap.
I say this because the first sign I noticed after leaving the airport was rather alarming: Keep an eye on the kids. Follow evacuation signs. Don’t fall into a sinkhole.
We’re talking volcanos, tidal waves, killer winds, sleet that’ll put your eyes out. Real wrath of God stuff.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to visit Iceland?
So here we are.
I am accompanied by my pals Buddy and Rick.
And because we are fully grown men…and without adult supervision…we elected to drive the Ring Road.
Which, according to a Peter Jackson movie I once saw, was named after a mystical golden ring.
Wait. That might have been about New Zealand. Never mind.
The RV we rented was advertised as accommodating 6 people.
It was only later that we noticed the small print (written in Icelandic) stipulating “providing that four of the people are Lilliputians..
But heck, cramped quarters has only made us closer bosom buddies.
What else?
Oh yeah. We saw a crater with water in it.
And it was so breathtaking that we might have spent the entire day just gazing at it in awesome contemplation of the wonder of it all.
Except that it was bitterly cold. With a biting wing that could have toppled redwood trees.
BTW: Legend has it that they named this island Iceland to discourage people from coming here.
I don’t believe the legend, because if they really wanted to discourage people from coming here they would a called it Killerwindland.
Speaking of which, when we rented the RV, they told us that if the wind reaches a certain velocity we needed to stop driving.
How to know when the wind reaches that velocity?
When the front tires lift off the pavement and head skyward.
And then we saw a waterfall.
And then we saw a waterfall that you could walk behind. Though not without getting really wet.
And then we saw a waterfall with a rainbow.
Turns out we were fortunate to arrive at that third waterfall during the 15 minutes of the year that the sun actually shines in Iceland.
How lucky was that?
BTW. I am beginning to suspect that Iceland has a surplus of waterfalls.
Oh, I forgot to mention that we had lunch in a giant greenhouse where they grow like 40 percent of all the tomatoes raised in Iceland.
The only things on the menu were tomato soup and bread. But they also had tomato beer. How cool is that?
What else can I tell you about my first couple of days on Iceland?
Oh yeah.
Listen, I am a seasoned world traveler.
I have been to many countries on several continents.
But friends, neighbors and loyal readers, I have never seen this sign before on any of my travels.
Make of that what you will. I won’t go there.
Oh, and I almost forgot.
We also found sunflowers that were teeming with bees.
But they were the most lethargic bees I’ve ever encountered.
Like they couldn’t even be bothered to bite me.
Like, Dude, whatever.
So I am beginning to like Iceland.
But the jury is still out,
Later.
FreeGNV 