I guess it’s time, seven days into my big Cotswold Way adventure to tell you my philosophy about how to survive life, the universe and everything.
It’s simple, really.
Put one foot in front of the other.
And repeat the process.
Which is how I got through the 7th and longest day (15-plus miles) of my Cotswold Way walk (i.e. death March).
Listen, I am possessed of neither great strength nor great speed.
All I have going for me is endurance.
Which is why it took me 9 hours and 22 minutes to get through the day.
But I did get through the day. And that oughta count for something.
I started my trek in the quaint but quizzical English village of Wooten-under-Edge.
Which, as a trained observer of the human condition, I judged to be a boiling cauldron of suppressed emotions and shattered dreams.
A typical English village in other words. (Oh come on, Bob, that was damned funny. Walt’s laughing.)
I shortly came across a church that had endured a major lead heist.
I don’t know who dunnit, but I’m certain that any one of Acorn’s 753 TV inspectors and investigators could crack this case in 30 minutes.
And people were dying to get in there (dad joke alert).
I came upon a stream that used to power a mill.
Naturally this caused me to run “down by the old mill stream (not the river but the stream) through my head 757,000 times.
I saw this sign posted on a log pile in the middle of nowhere. It may be my all time favorite danger sign because, hey, it was in the middle of nowhere and the guy behind the big black hand seems really pissed off.
In which I encountered a waterfall and a tree in their natural habitat. Still waiting for that call from National Geographic.
The promised two towers.
And the promised bumblebee.
I had lunch in the Beaufort Arms, 7.5 miles into my journey. For reasons I cannot explain they seemed extraordinarily concerned that I might leave the premise loudly.
Have you seen this man? Have you seen this hedge? No resemblance, riight?
So, in conclusion.
In case you’re wondering what happened to my daughter, she took the day off to go to an urgent care center and find out whether her blistered big toes would have to be amputated.
Jenny was quite surprised when she showed up at the clinic and not only didn’t have to wait to be seen, but her visit cost nothing.
These damned socialist countries are ruining everything for us.
The good news is that it looks like Jenny’s big toes can be saved.
The bad news is that her big toenails are almost certainly goners.
So I am seven days into a 9 day trek.
And I am reminded of the guy who jumped out of a 10 story building. As he was passing the 7th floor, somebody heard him say “so far, so good.,” (obscure Magnificent Seven reference).
Steve McQueen was in the Magnificent Seven. He was also in Papillon. And my favorite Steve McQueen quote of all time comes from Papillon, when he’s floating away from Devil’s Island.
“I’m still here you bastards!
Day 7 of the Cotswold Way walk.
I’m still here you…
FreeGNV 