I’m not ashamed to admit that our nine-day, 100 mile trek on England’s Cotswold Way just about did me in.
“Listen,” I kept muttering to myself during the painful ordeal, “I ride bikes, I don’t walk. Ron Cunningham needs to hike like a fish needs a bicycle.”
Yes, I was indeed a, um, fish out of water. To further torture an already mangled metaphor.
Which is why it was such a relief to flee to London and get back to doing what I do best.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The best way to see an unfamiliar city is on two wheels. And the safest and most interesting way to do that is to sign up for a guided tour.
I chose The London Bicycle Tour Co. and became part of a 10 person tour group with riders from Denver, Wyoming, the U.K. and Taiwan (and me, who is, of course a citizen of the world.)
Our tour guide for the afternoon was Ollie (no last names, please, I must protect my sources.) who between showing us gray stone towers also played us classic rock that blared from a speaker mounted on the back of his bike.
Talk about your magical mystery tour.
Ollie whisked us away to the Dream Garden, a sort of Wonderful World Of Plants housed in the deconsecrated church of St Mary-at-Lambeth.
Fun fact: The ex-church contains the burial place of John Tradescant, the Indiana Jones’s of plant hunters.
There are many plants in evidence, but not that devil weed still prohibited by U.K. law.
A little known fun fact: This celebrated edifice on the banks of the Thames is the first building in recorded history to employ aluminum siding to create a truly impressive facade.
After that aluminum siding really caught on in this town.
This is a memorial to Covid victims. Walking its third of a mile length is a sobering experience.
The actual two towers of Lord Of The Rings fame.
It is the hallmark of a true pro that when he forgets the name of the building he took us too he is not to proud to look it up Google Maps.
BTW: Somebody important lives here, but he didn’t invite us to tea so I’ll snub him right back.
Honestly, what would Freud make of this?
In which Ollie tells us where to go in the nicest possible way.
Left: I forget the name of the building but I’m pretty sure the guy in front is Cillian Murphy.
Right: A memorial to Nike, the goddess of Air Jordans.
Fun fact: Jimi Hendrix once had a flat in the same Mayfair building that Handel occupied a couple centuries earlier.
Hendrix saw Handel’s ghost in the mirror while shaving.
Disclaimer: I didn’t make that up. Ollie did.
Two words: Flying buttresses.
Ollie saved the best for last.
The Leake Street Tunnel has been transformed by Banksy and his pals into an underground street art wonderland.
And like GNV’s 34th Street wall it is an ever shifting canvass.
You can go there and paint your own masterpiece if you want.
And if you are very lucky it may still be there the next day.
The cycling life for me mate.
FreeGNV 