Going with the dogs
I can’t believe this, but once more I must rise in support of Florida’s irascible U.S. Rep. Randy Fine. If forced to choose between dogs or Fine….I too would choose dogs. They are cuter, more cuddly and infinitely more faithful than Floriduh’s self-annointed “Hammer.”
The peasants are revolting
“The city of Gainesville is engaged in insurrection against the state government…Revolt. Rebellion.” Thus declared Attorney Sam Salario, representing GRU’s appeal to overturn not one, but two overwhelming votes by GNV residents to take back their city-owned utility from The Great DeSanitizer’s sock puppet board of governors.
Revolt? Rebellion? Insurrection? Wait! Which GRU was this guy representing? GNV’s or the old Soviet Union’s?
You can’t say what?
Really? Students at historically Black FAMU were told they couldn’t use the word “Black” to celebrate Black History Month? To be sure, FAMU officials later tried to walk that back, calling it a staff-level error.
But the truth is that the GOP zealots in Tallahassee have so beaten state colleges and universities into submission – with countless “anti-woke, anti-DEI, censorship and other restrictions – that whatever timid staffer made the initial decision to say “no Black” was, literally, following the party line in this here Free State Of Floriduh.
Mind your own business, voters
Well it finally happened. Florida Republicans have now thrown so many roadblocks in the way of citizen-initiated ballot initiates that not one of 22 proposed constitutional amendments has qualified for the 2026 ballot.
Florida Legislature to Florida voters: Mind your own business, peasants, and leave the messy business of governance to politicians and the lobbyists who pull their strings.
No safety, no problem
Across the nation, we’ve seen a rash of lawsuits claiming pistols like the Sig Sauer P320 are defective simply because it does not include an optional feature such as an external safety.: Jason Wright, vice president for marketing at Sig Sauer.
Not a problem in Florida: Faster than you can empty a clip from an safety-free semi-automatic the Legislature is ramming through legislation to protect gun makers from negligance suits for, um, forgetting to add an “optional” safety to an otherwise perfectly good firearm.
“I don’t know what the issue is, but it’s scary to me as a law enforcement leader that there are guns going off without manipulation,” Indian River Sheriff Eric Flowers told The Florida Phoenix.
Nah, that’s not scary. What really scares Floriduh legislators – who happily do their business behind a phalanx of guards and metal detectors – is being branded soft on the 2nd Amendment by the gun lobby.
Those gotta be some fancy potties!
I can’t believe this, but I guess I really do owe The Great DeSanitizer an apology. Like so many other Trained Observers Of The Perfectly Obvious, I’ve been accusing our anti-Ron of running a state-funded concentration camp, i.e. Alligator Alley.
Turns out I was wrong. According the the Orlando Sentinel, included in the $400 million in “emergency spending” The Guv ran through slapping AA together, was $92 million “to a St. Petersburg company called Doodie Calls, which provides portable sanitation services and employs a prominent Republican lobbyist.”
Wow! That’s some fancy Doodie!
Listen, for that kind of money AA’s potties have to have gold-plated fixtures, and maybe even have those fancy, high-tech Japanese toilet seats that tell you if there’ anything wrong ‘down there.’
Concentration camp? More like a luxury resort if you ask me.
FreeGNV 