As a trained observer of the human condition, there are some things I just gotta off my chest.
***
Until just recently I’d never heard of Bad Bunny, and I still haven’t listened to his music.
***
On the other hand, everything I know about opera I learned from Bugs Bunny. Does that count?
***
Truth is I stopped following music after the ‘80s, when my cranial play list got so full that my mental mini-cassette couldn’t hold one more song.
***
Listen, if The Great DeSanitizer gets an amendment to eliminate property taxes on the ballot I’m gonna vote for it and damned the consequences to civilization.
***
Hell, they’re already phasing out public schools. Cities and counties are next to fall in this here Free State Of Floriduh.
***
Plus I could use the money. So please, throw me into that briar patch, Guv!
***
Trump: Fentanyl is a weapon of mass destruction. Fentanyl: Trump is a weapon of mass delusion.
***
As a lifelong cyclist I vote to ban e-bikes. The damned things are a public menace on the sidewalk, where most of em are ridden for fear of getting hit by cars.
***
Oh yeah, I also vote to ban ginormous pickups and SUVs the size of Rhode Island. They kill more people than e-bikes, measles and woke combined.
***
I walked into Regal Cinemas and saw the coolest product placement ever: A row of Melania popcorn tubs atop a line of leering Sponge Bobs.
***
Decided not to see “Malania” (or Sponge Bob) because I heard it was boring.
***
Saw the latest Jason Statham shoot-em-up instead. And promptly fell asleep.
***
You’re not gonna believe this, but it had exactly the same plot as the last 37 Statham movies I watched.
***
Then I saw “Send Help.” And concluded that Rachel McAdams would beat the stuffing outa Statham.
***
Undocumented frozen iguanas are dropping out of the trees in South Florida, so they’re easy pickings right now. So what the hell is ICE still doing detaining 5-year olds in Minnesota?
***
You can’t make this up, folks: A bill in the Legislature will replace “The West Bank” in Florida textbooks with the biblical “Judea and Samaria.”
***
Next up: Bills to rename blue GNV “Oz” and blue Tallahassee “Occupied Territory.”
***
Am I the only one who thinks our mayor looks like an aging Maynard G. Krebs? Asking for a friend.
FreeGNV 