TR: “Have you still got the Three Friends?..Well. You ought to be mighty proud of her. If it had not been for the Three Friends, you would not be governor now.”
NBB: “You ought to be proud of her yourself, because if it had not been for her, you would not be president.”
From a conversation between President Theodore Roosevelt and Florida Gov. Napoleon Bonaparte Broward, aboard a Mississippi River steamboat in 1907.
Wait! What?
They want to rename Broward County. To Lauderdale County. In the name of economic development.
Because everybody knows about Ft. Lauderdale. But nobody’s ever heard of Broward.
I object!
I object as someone who grew up in Broward County. I object as a graduate of both South Broward High School and Broward Community College.
And not just because of my Broward bone fides.
Because, as a fan of Florida history, I believe it would be a travesty to consign a Florida governor with the improbable name of Napoleon Bonaparte Broward to the…well…the dustbin of history.
Not only was he, arguably, the state’s most colorful governor (and something of a rascal at that). He was also one of the most consequential.
For both better and worse.
I mean, It would be like dynamiting Teddy’s head from Mt. Rushmore, for gawd’s sake!
Talk about a resume to remember.
This guy’s family lost everything in the Civil War. And so, his high falutin handle notwithstanding, he had to pull himself out of poverty with sheer grit, hard work and determination.
He bought a tug boat, The Three Friends, and used it to run guns to Cuban rebels.
Consider this account of his smuggling exploits from Tallahassee Magazine:
After dodging federal revenue cutters and Spanish patrol boats, he landed a party of Cuban revolutionaries on the island’s coast with an ample supply of “groceries,” including Remington rifles, ammunition and dynamite.
As the last whaleboat was returning to The Three Friends, a searchlight stabbed into the darkness. Seconds later, the Spanish unleashed a steady rain of bullets and cannon fire at the American gunrunner.
Broward hauled aboard his shore party and prepared to ram the attacking vessel. But before he could do so, the searchlight beam flickered out, the gunfire ebbed and the gunboat vanished.
I mean, he was the Humphrey Bogart of Florida pols. That’s a scene right out of To Have And Have Not.
We’re also talking about a guy who got himself elected sheriff of Duval County and then…
…jailed gamblers after spurning their bribes, played a calming role following the murder of a white man by a black man that threatened to devolve into mob violence and arrested the heavyweight boxing champion “Gentleman Jim” Corbett for assault and battery after he knocked out his opponent in a Jacksonville prize ring.
Heck, even a grateful Duval County named a honkin’ big bridge after Broward.
We’re talking a member of the state legislature that helped railroad magnet Henry Flagler divorce his mentally ill wife by voting to change state divorce laws.
And who, as governor, quickly repealed the law that allowed Flagler to get his divorce.
You don’t just disremember a rascal like that.
But he wasn’t just a rascal. He was a rascal with a legacy.
Again as per Tallahassee Magazine.
Broward won the election and promptly went about changing the face of Florida. He vigorously defended small farmers and businessmen against the powerful railroads and corporations, banned child labor, modernized the universities, advocated primary elections, initiated a massive building program and built roads.
Of course, when you’re talking about Broward’s “legacy thing,” you can’t ignore his playing Capt. Arab to the Everglades’ white whale.
Alas, draining the Glades was his obsession.
He dismissed the vast sawgrass marsh as a wasteland and argued that Florida should emulate Holland by creating a network of canals and dikes. Drain the swamp, he argued, and open the rich farmland to small farmers
Which turned out to be a horrible mistake that we’re still paying for today.
Still, I suppose you might argue, perversely, that his worst mistake turned out to be an…um…economic plus for South Florida in some regards.
Yeah, that’s it!
Look it this way: The guy created a jobs program that endures to this day.
I mean, over the decades we’ve spent billions on Everglades restoration programs…which have certainly kept a lot of folks employed.
But I digress.
All I’m saying is that Napoleon Bonaparte Broward was a colorful and consequential Florida pol who deserves to have a county named after him.
I mean, what the hell did Hernando DeSoto ever do to get a Florida county named after him? Answer me that!
Oh, one more thing.
Apparently the renaming move arises from the perception that Ft. Lauderdale is such an internationally renowned, um, brand, that naming the entire county after its best known city would be a winner for all.
Maybe so. But, again, history is a pesky thing that cannot be ignored.
Who the hell was Ft. Lauderdale named after?
Major William Lauderdale. Why? Because during the Second Seminole War he brought some troops south and built a fort where, you know, Ft. Lauderdale stands today.
After which he vanished from the pages of history.
By comparison at least neighboring Dade County had the good sense to name itself after Maj. Francis Langhorne Dade. Who was massacred, along with more than 100 of his troops, during that self same Second Seminole War.
Dade was Florida’s George Armstrong Custer, and fully deserved to have a county named after him. And you don’t see Dade residents trying to change it name to Miami County!
And another thing
Apropos of nothing at all (I love it when we writers use that phrase) and while we’re on the subject of naming Florida cities and counties after famous people:
I’ve always had a problem with Gainesville being named for General Edmund P. Gaines.
I mean, no question he was a distinguished military figure. Having participated in conflicts from the War of 1812 to the invasion of Mexico…where he made quite a name for himself.
And yes, Gaines did fight in Florida – coincidently during the Second Seminole War.
Where he was shot in the mouth, found himself under siege hard up against the Withlacoochee River, and slapped together a fortification called (I am not making this up) Camp Izard.
No question, he fought in various and sundry other Florida skirmishes.
Oh, and his troops were also first to arrive on the scene to witness the results of the Dade massacre.
After which Gaines departed Florida.
Without being able to declare victory.
You see where I’m going here. Right?
We named this college football town after a guy who couldn’t beat our biggest in-state rivals…the Seminoles.
How embarrassing is that?
Which is why I hereby propose renaming Gainesville to…ta da!…Spurriersville.
I mean, Spurrier beat the ‘Noles five times..
Oh…wait one.
It seems Spurrier also lost to FSU 8 times and tied once.
So never mind.
FreeGNV 