Rep. Kevin Steele, R-Hudson, has filed a bill to name a bunch of roads at state universities after Charlie Kirk. Among them, UF’s Stadium Road.
What a chintzy tribute. We’re really going to cheapen Charlie’s memory for the cost of a few street signs?
Not good enough, Kevin.
Heck, that would be like Trump tearing down the East Wing so he can add that gold-plaited broom closet he’s always dreamed of.
Listen, Charlie Kirk died for our sins.
Or at least the sins of leftists.
And now Republicans want to rub our noses in it.
Well, if we’re gonna do something let’s do it right, I say.
How about a statue like the one on that mountain overlooking Rio De Janeiro?
Only Charlie would be looming over The Swamp instead.
Sort of like UF’s own Touchdown Jesus. We’re talking national titles every year until the Second Coming.
Oh, wait! I just remembered.
UF is gonna need every penny it can beg, borrow or steal so we can hire Lane Kiffin, for all the money in the world, to deliver us to Football Promised Land.
Although I’m pretty sure Touchdown Charlie would achieve the same result. Faith being able to move mountains, and all.
So maybe we’ll have to skimp a little bit on Touchdown Charlie.
Here’s an idea.
How about a smaller tribute (we’ll call him Lil’ Charlie) looming over the three Heisman Trophy winner statues out front of the stadium?
I mean, Steve, Danny and Tim wouldn’t have won their Heismans in the first place without divine intervention from You Know Who.
Listen, I’m stunned that I have to keep rescuing Republicans from the curse of their own tiny little ideas.
Disclaimer: The author holds no position that would be subject to termination for committing the cardinal sin of being irreverant to Charlie Kirk on social media. Although the author would argue that advocating a giant statue of Kirk outside UF’s football stadium is the most reverent gesture imaginable.
FreeGNV 