Listen, it’s like Minnie Driver said in Grosse Pointe Blank: Sometimes you just gotta get the hell out of town.
And so I cleverly timed my great escape for that crucial moment when GNV is finally getting cool enough to stand living here.
And, hopefully, to be somewhere else when the ax finally falls on poor Billy.
And of course, no trip out of GNV is complete without first enduring a multi-hour layover in the Atlanta airport. This time due to a bunch of air controllers calling in sick to, um, sweeten the government shutdown.
Let the record show I endured it in stoic silence with nothing for sustinance except granola bars and bottled water.
Arriving in Burlington just after midnight we beat a hasty retreat to Colchester, Vt. We checked into the Starlight Inn right next door to a four-screened drive-in theater.
Because everything’s up to date in Colchester, Vt.
I wanted to stay in the John Wayne Room, but some other lucky buckaroo got his brand on it first. Had to settle for the Julia Robert’s Room and hardly slept because the room was lousy with Pretty Woman vibes.
Fun fact: Roger Williams composed Autumn Leaves in the Brad and Angelina Room after seeing the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the multi-plex drive-in.
And if you don’t believe me, ask AI like I did.
Arrived in Montreal’s open air market, on the Lachine Canal, just in time for lunch.
The place is lousy with art.
I mean art’s everywhere.
Not to mention graffiti.
Fun fact: They speak a foreign language in Montreal that purports to be French.
I learned how to say “Eh!” In French.
(Ask AI if you want to know.)
We arrived at our second night’s destination, Mont-Tremblant.
A picturesque ski resort that looks exactly like a picturesque Swiss village.
If Disney were to design a picturesque Swiss Village.
We were quite disappointed to learn that there was no skiing on account of it not having actually snowed yet.
What to do? What to do?
We pushed on early the next morning in our never-ending quest for bright lights, big cities…and directions to the nearest rest room.
FreeGNV 