Our guest lecturer today is none other than Bluto.
The Che Guevara of the ivory tower resistance movement.
Unsung hero of Animal House.
That classic American movie about a classic American rebellion in a classic American college town.
A classic American college town that coulda been GNV.
Except that it was too damned hot and humid to film Animal House here.
Listen, Bluto went on to become a U.S. Senator for goodness sakes.
His lecture:
“I think that this situation absolutely requires a really stupid and futile gesture be done on somebody’s part!”
Well said Senator.
And let’s face it, what’s more stupid and futile than the decree that GNV and other Florida cities remove their street murals forthwith?
Because they…oh I dunno – freak out drivers or something.
Despite ample evidence that street art has a traffic calming effect on drivers.
It’s all a crock or course.
This is simply the work of Self Righteous Prigs In Power (SRPPs) who want to impose their own ideas about morality on us, the great unwashed.
Mostly the SRPPs want to ban street rainbows (too gay).
But they realized they had to ban all street art – even Back The Blue murals – or risk of revealing themselves to be, well, Self Righteous Prigs In Power.
Nothing city officials can do about this, mayors and commissioners keep telling us. Why, if they don’t buckle under the city will lose federal and state transportation dollars.
Which might prevent them from fixing potholes.
And potholes are bad. They hurt cars instead of pedestrians.
Anyway, retaliation is no job for skittish local politicians or bureaucrats.
This is a job for guerrilla urbanists (GUs).
But what to do?
Orlando GUs already discovered that simply putting the color back into recently uncolored crosswalks results in their fast removal again. And even the posting of police at the scene of the, um, crime.
But what if a hundred rainbow murals blossomed in GNV in defiance of the SRPPs? Or a thousand? Or ten thousand?
Here. There. Everywhere.
We are a city of murals. A city of artists.
What if miniature rainbows started popping up on streets and roads all over GNV?
Course we’re not all good hands with paint or chalk.
Which is surely why God invented rainbow decals.
Small. Easily transportable. Quickly and stealthily applied.
And not just on street surfaces, but on, oh, I dunno, utility poles. Because it’s always nice to send a message to the Great DeSanitizer-appointed SRPPs who rule GRU.
The city-owned utility that was hijacked by the same SRPPs who now want us to lose our street murals.
A stupid and futile gesture in the face of creeping Floriduh fascism you say? Maybe so.
But let’s remember the immortal words of Bluto:
Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. Hell no.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going!
Grab a brew. Don’t cost nothin’.
To paraphrase the lyrics of John B. Sebastian.
Another great American resistance leader.
We’ll paint rainbows all over their blues.
FreeGNV 