Continuing my quest for wisdom and insight into the human condition as I make my way down the Rhône….
…I came upon…
…Viviers. A fortified medieval town perched up on a hill. Out in the middle of nowhere. With twisty little streets. And atmosphere out the wah wah.
I’m just gonna say this about Viviers.
It looks a lot better at night than it does in the day.
And to be honest with you. I’m not sure I would have even included Viviers in my Very Ron Travel Guide.
Except for something extraordinary that I found stapled to an ancient door that was several lifetimes older then yours truly.
It was a detailed graphic about what to do in case of a terrorist attack.
I have seen nothing like this in my travels in Paris and Lyon.
Dudes! You are a fortified city! On a hill! Out in the middle of nowhere! Just chill!
You’re gonna be OK.
Moving on…
True confession: After Viviers and before Arles we arrived at Avignon. I was gonna walk where non-Vatican Popes walked.
But on the morning we arrived we expatriate Americans received some very disturbing news from home. And I stayed on the boat and sulked.
Moving on.
Arles has a Roman colosseum where Gladiators fought. It’s world famous because it is featured in one of my favorite Robert De Niro movies, Ronan.
There is a guy wrapped in plastic sitting in the colosseum. Also a woman wearing old timey tennis togs. She looks better preserved than he.
Arles also has a social life.
We went into a bar and ordered drinks. I swear to God the waiter took one look at us and said “Sacre bleu! Americans!”
Arles had a bridge crossing the Rhône. The Germans blew it up during World War II to slow the allied invasion.
The Germans never came back to rebuild it. Perhaps they lost their road map.
Here’s proof that long after civilization crumbles into ruin, cars will still be here.
There is a lot of graffiti in Arles. A thousand years from now archeologists will dig through the rubble of Arles and theorize that the locals worshipped a benevolent duck and a dictatorial dog.
Viva whatever. It’s all Greek to me.
All roads no longer lead to Rome in Arles.
All of their signs are in French. How pedestrian.
You can recycle your wine bottles in Arles, but the rest of the garbage goes on the ground.
Do not mess with this dude’s car.
And at last…after traveling half the world over. I finally arrive in Arles to discover one of life’s most closely guarded secrets..
I will translate: Only four people are responsible for all of life’s misdeeds. And as soon as we find them, they’re gonna be in a lot of trouble..
I’ll drink to that.
And you’re welcome.
FreeGNV 