Poor Chuckles.
For eight years in the Florida Legislature our favorite suburban demagogue has done everything in his power to demonize GNV city government and, generally, make life more difficult for the GNV residents that he pretends to represent.
And he’s been pretty good at it. His swan song was hijacking the City-owned public utility and turning it over to the tender mercies of a rag-tag group of Great DeSanitizer appointees. The GDS couldn’t even be bothered to appoint a full board, and most of those he did appoint do not even qualify under the revised charter that Chuckles rammed through the Leg in his final, self-righteous rit of fage (I mean fit of rage).
But with the conclusion of the ‘24 Leg Session, Chuckles suddenly finds himself more of less powerless to further bedevil our little academic Gomorrah.
Oh, he’s still technically a legislator. At least until the end of the year when he’s term limited out. But barring a special session devoted solely to punishing Florida’s bluest city for this, that or whatever, Chuckles has pretty much fired his last GNV bolt.
Sad.
Lacking real power to do further harm, Chuckles has now reduced himself to the status of suburban scold.
Like the inspector in Casablanca, Chuckles was shocked (shocked) to learn that there are actual locked, gender neutral public restrooms in City Hall. And he vows that will not stand on his watch.
“The City of Gainesville’s new practice of adding locks to the entrance door of multi-closeted restrooms and decreeing all of them to be gender neutral is a failed attempt to stymie the implementation of CS/HB1521 from the 2023 Session which relates to Facility Requirements Based on Sex,” Clemons said in what passes for a scathing letter to the city.
But what to do? What to do? It’s not like he can go back to his cronies and revoke GNV’s charter in retaliation.
So he wants the Florida Building Commission to determine if GNV is in violation of Florida potty parity rules. Or maybe declare that locked GNRs are a building code no-no. (Note to Chuckles: They had to put a lock on at least one of the aforementioned GNRs because every time the door opened whoever happened to be standing at the urinal would be, um, on full display.)
Who knows. Maybe Chuckles will succeed in getting the state to administer a bureaucratic slap on the wrist. But how satisfying can that be for a guy who used to be able to strike fear (and loathing) in GNV hearts and souls.
Sad.
Hey, here’s an idea: Maybe he ought to chain himself to the door of one of the GNRs as a form of personal protest. Like that woman who chained herself to a downtown tree (albeit with a fake chain) to keep it from being cut down.
No, it would never do for our suburban terror to stoop to classic GNV guerrilla tactics.
Next thing you know he’ll be reduced to joining the usual cadre of village scolds who spend all of their time at public meetings castigating city commissioners for having the temerity to act like…well…like city commissioners.
How the mighty have fallen. Weep for poor Chuckles.
Sad.
FreeGNV 